Congratulations to the Boss

Christopher Edward Kamper today scored his first two "real" pars of his retirement. Congratulations to The Boss for the first real accomplishment of his sunset years.

It should be noted, though, that both pars came on Par 3s and were completed with a 7 Wood off the tee.

I think I speak for everyone when I give best wishes on actually being able to hit a 6, 7, or 8 iron the 162 yards in the coming years.

On the Perfection of Self

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about the interesting and thoughtful post that MLC put together recently over at a handsome little sum. I've been trying to formulate a response to what he's been talking about, and I think I'm ready to put some ideas down in a committed way.

The biggest issue that MLC and his partner have been undertaking lately is veganism. I am aggressively not vegan, and not simply because it is one of the many things that White People Like. I think that there are good reasons that people have for going vegan. Reasons that are defensible in many ways. For me, those are the ways that vegans are uncomfortable with the byproducts that their putting into their bodies when they eat meat or other foods that contain meat byproducts. I am not one to question these beliefs any more than I feel comfortable being anti-choice. To me, the same moral and ethical issues apply. But this is not the reason that MLC is suggesting here. He says that he's committing to veganism because he feels that meat, in all its myriad forms, is in some way bad.

There are a couple things that I'm uncomfortable with here. The first is that the best way that we define ourselves as individuals in society is as consumers. Really? I like to look at my role in the greater landscape and impact through what I create and return to the society in which I live. I do far more as a teacher and an artist than I can as someone who only buys tofu and chickpeas week after week. It's only when one fully gives up on the commitment to return to society does one begin to believe that their greatest impact is in what they can take from it.

My second real departure from MLC is the impact that he apparently believes his decision has on the marketplace. If the heart of this decision is the commitment to a more ethical lifestyle, isn't the more impactful decision to commit to pay a little more (and then consume a little less) for responsible, sustainable products? I understand this isn't a commitment that everyone in the world can make, but that's one of the great virtues we have being born into positions of privilege. If we are really committed to examining our impact on the demand side of the chart, surely the impact would be greater not to remove ourselves from the marketplace, but instead to shift our purchasing priorities to those products that we feel are ethical. Although the marketplace has supported ethical farming and ranching enough so that there's national (largely) distribution for these products, any decreased market share for industrial meat production will be felt more if there's a corresponding uptick for sustainable production. The economy only feels shifts in market share; there's no pressure for change if the consumer just removes themselves from the equation altogether.

My final issue with veganism has to do with the moral qualms that many vegans express with using these animals as "means to an end." I'm not sure I totally understand the underlying assumption of this argument. There's no question that animals used for industrial production have no hope of existing in a natural environment. 21st Century cows, chickens, and pigs are as much a creation of humans as the Prius, frisbees, or hemp shorts. It's the same with corn or soybeans. I'm not sure that I understand the moral or ethical imperative here. I understand that cows and pigs would prefer to be alive, but so would the mold that creates penicillin. Should we forgo antibiotics?

My really final issue with the outward-looking veganism of MLC is that in order to be serious, it must be evangelical. If one truly believes that eating meat or using animal products is so detrimental to the human experience that it must become taboo, it is not possible not to try to impress these views on others. Just as it's impossible for someone who truly believes that abortion is murder to abide a single instance (even in cases of rape and incesnt), so also must the philosophically serious vegan be unable to abide those around them eating meat or wearing leather in their presence. Even if the vegan is able to watch a companion devour a delicious kobe beef burger, the implication to the companion is obvious: you are not as pure and uncompromised as I.

What I found particularly interesting in MLC's post though was the latter part, in which he describes his and his partner's living philosophy as being "radical decency." I'm not going to critique this philosophy right now, because I feel like I've already kind of taken a dump on their beliefs too much already (although it's meant in love and to challege the seriousness of one's intentions). But it has gotten me thinking about my own governing assumptions.

I think that what I have been living under for the past few years has been the philosophy of the title of this post. And I don't mean this is any Ayn Rand bullshit. That kind of philosophy leads to alienation and distrust. I know, because my mother-in-law is a scary fundamentalist libertarian.

What I generally mean is that over the past year or so I've become more aware of the limits of my own body and mind and genetics. That being said, I have been living in the hope of reaching the limits of the material with which I've been provided. The human mind only has the capacity to focus on three or four things at a time. But we are also creatures of habit. As I work to perfect one part of my life, that becomes habit, and integrated into my everyday experience. Once that goal is maximized (although never achieved) it becomes part of the lifestyle, and the mind has space to move on to the next project.

My current projects are generally rolling. Every year I work to become a more perfect teacher, whether it is through greater discipline in grading essays in a timely manner, or becoming more forward-looking in planning, or (most lately) in becoming more involved in the campus community and working for students outside the classroom. I'm always interested in pursing perfection in the body, and part of this was making the decision that I will commit to working out six days a week. That's a committment that I've been able to keep, and has allowed me to continue to push my physical limits. I've worked to become a more perfect member of the ecosystem by taking small steps like bringing bags to the grocery store to limit the amount of waste that we use. In a step that drives Leah crazy, I have maximized my fuel efficiency by coasting into red lights and making sure that I'm stopped as little as possible when I'm driving.

Is part of this meant to be a role model for others? Of course, but that's not the focus. The understanding is that when everyone is constantly striving toward their own perfection, then the goals, because we are all members of a society, begin to diverge creating a better world. This is the idea that I try and pass on to my students.

The funny thing about working with 18- and 19-year-olds with modest ambitions is that they're more than happy living with the status quo. There is an inertia that has been built up by at least the last four years of high school and maybe more. I try and teach them that nothing of value comes without struggle, and then requre them to struggle in order to succeed. There's virtue and value in that struggle.

As long as I'm struggling, I feel like I'm moving toward the perfection of self.

Arizona Cardinals Draft Recap

I plopped down on the couch Saturday for six or seven hours to watch the NFL draft, and I couldn't be happier with the results for the Arizona Cardinals. General Manager Rod Graves continued his successful run of letting the draft come to him and not wheeling and dealing. Graves (I think) has learned his lesson that he's not a fantastic draft manager or deal maker after trading down to take OLB/DE Calvin Pace and WR Bryant Johnson in 2002 and trading up in the second round to select DT Alan Branch (who has yet to start a single NFL game) two years ago.

Rod Graves doesn't seem to have a good feel for the draft, and perhaps doesn't trust his ability to gauge the league when it comes to deals. I would still prefer that the Cardinals replace Graves with someone who has a track record of success in the league, but Graves did build the current NFC Champion roster, so who am I to really complain?

In the first round, the Cardinals selected Ohio State running back Chris "Beanie" Wells. Of course, I predicted this on ESPN.com, but more importantly, I think this is good news for the franchise. I think that Wells should be motivated by his low draft position, and the possibility of a much larger second contract. I think that the Cardinals' exposure with Wells is relatively small, considering that his contract shouldn't be prohibitive should Wells underperform. I expect that Wells will enter the season at #2 on the depth chart, but should still get the bulk of the carries (like the way the Cards managed the Edgerrin James/Tim Hightower tandem last season). Hopefully, James will get his release from the Cards' roster this week, and be allowed to find other work.

It's possible that the Cards should have traded out of this pick in order to garner multiple picks later in the draft, or perhaps a 1st round pick in 2010. But I don't trust Rod Graves to make a good deal with a team trading up, and I don't really like the prospects of Shonn Greene or LeSean McCoy to be an every-down back in the NFL. The Cardinals needed a starting-caliber running back, and got one with the 31st pick in the NFL draft. There were no compelling players to fit their other need at this position, and so I think they made the correct choice.

Beanie gives the Cards a physical running back with home-run ability. He will able to be physical across the line of scrimmage, and doesn't need wide holes to break through to reach his highest gear. The bust potential for Wells is relatively low, especially as the Cardinals manage the transition from a wide-open passing attack utilizing the abilities of Kurt Warner to more of a power-running offense after Warner's inevitable retirement.

In the second round, the Cardinals addressed their second primary need by adding defensive end/outside linebacker Cody Brown from the University of Connecticut. Last season Cody Brown notched 11 sacks and 16.5 tackles for loss for the Huskies as well as eight pass deflections. Brown will begin his career as a situational pass rusher for the Redbirds while he adjusts to the NFL game and his new position as a 3-4 outside linebacker instead of the 4-3 defensive end he was in college.

This pick is a good one because it infuses the Cardinals' outside linebacking corps with youth that had been absent since Calvin Pace departed. Starting OLBs Bertrand Berry and Chike Okeafor are on the downside of their careers, and 2008 free agent signee Travis LaBoy underperformed his first season before suffering a leg injury that limited him for much of the second half and playoff run.

The Cards had to have been sweating that Brown would remain on the board after similar prospects like Conor Barwin, David Veikune, and Paul Kruger went off the board in the middle of the second round. Brown was the last promising OLB prospect who could make an immediate impact, and the Cards should feel satisfied with his potential. Had Brown gone off the board, it's possible that the Cards would have added TE Richard Quinn from North Carolina, who would have been the blocking tight end the franchise has been looking for since Ken Whisenhut arrived in Arizona.

In the third round, the Cardinals drafted safety Rashad Johnson from the University of Alabama. Crimson Tide coach Mike Saban reportedly told Arizona scouts that Johnson is the smartest player he's ever coached. Johnson is on the small side at 5'11", 203 lbs, but he should find a role in the Cards' nickle and dime packages early in his career. The Cards love to play three safeties in nickel coverages (though whether this continues with the addition of Bryant McFadden in free agency and the departure of Clancy Pendergast remains to be seen), and this addition will allow the Cardinals to have a more "true" free safety on the field, freeing up Pro Bowl player Adrian Wilson to play closer to the line of scrimmage and free safety Antrel Rolle to be more instinctive in the intermediate zones.

What the addition of Johnson does most is create intense competition between 2008 holdovers Matt Ware and Aaron Francisco as well as free agent addition Keith Lewis (San Francisco). All three of these players are a liability in defensive packages, although each makes contributions on special teams units. Francisco was once believed to have a ton of promise, but the former undrafted free agent has had a hard time progressing after ending the 2007 season on injured reserve. Francisco likely makes the final roster because he is an excellent special teams player, but will possibly see his role in defensive packages reduced.

It's difficult to say whom the Cards might have liked had Johnson been off the board, but it's possible they would have drafted South Florida OLB Tyrone McKenzie, who was chosen two picks later by the New England Patriots. McKenzie would be an inside linebacker in the Cardinals' 3-4 defense, and would have provided an insurance policy behind franchise player Karlos Dansby and core middle linebacker Gerald Hayes.

In the fourth round, the Cardinals rolled the dice on St. Paul's cornerback Greg Toler. Toler was not invited to the NFL Combine, but impressed a lot of scouts during his on-campus workout. He has great speed, although not the other special abilities of another small-school cornerback on the Cards' roster, Dominique Rogers-Cromartie. Toler will have to compete for a place on a suddenly croweded defensive back depth chart, but should find an early role as a gunner on special teams units.

An interesting note on Toler is that there are a lot of questions about his ability to handle zone responsibilities. A feature of Clancy Pendergast's defense was three- or four-deep zone converages behind his inventive blitz schemes. The selection of Toler may mean that the Cardinals are going to move to more traditional Pittsburg defenses. The Steelers frequently use more cover-1 or -2 alignments in the secondary, leaving cornerbacks more alone in man-to-man coverage.

In the fifth round, the Cards acquired a mountain of a man in 6'8", 364 lbs offensive tackle Herman Johnson from LSU. That 364 lbs. number is probably charitable, but this is the biggest player the Cards have had on their roster since the departure of Leonard Davis. Johnson projects to offensive guard in the NFL and again suggests that the Cards are undergoing a slow transition in their offensive philosophy. Johnson is a powerful drive blocker who may struggle in his pass sets. When Johnson sees the field in a year or two, he's not going to be playing a lot of snaps in shotgun.

In the sixth round, the Arizona Cardinals selected defensive end/outside linebacker Will Davis. Davis effectively replaces 2009 draftee Chris Harrington, also drafted in the sixth round. Harrington was cut in training camp and signed to the Cardinals' practice squad before being signed by the Cincinnatti Bengals mid-season. Davis will be asked to cut some weight from his current 261 lbs and transition to the outside linebacker position. Davis will face a battle for a roster spot, but should find a place on the practice squad. It will be interesting to see whether the Cards try and hide him during the preseason to keep other teams from claiming the prospect.

In the seventh stanza, the Cards drafted a pair of players in tiny (5'8", 180 lbs) Pittsburgh running back LaRod Stephens-Howling and Cincinnatti Bearcat offensive guard Trevor Cantfield. Both players will likely face a steep climb to make the final roster. Stephens-Howling will be competing with 2009 free agent signee Jason Wright (Cleveland). Stephens-Howling's best chance to reach the NFL is as a gunner on special teams and a returner in the kicking game (a hole left with the departure of J.J. Arrington). He has good speed, but his size really limits his ability to play at this level. Cantfield could compete for the final offensive line roster spot, but more likely will land on the practice squad, where he'll bide his time before the departure of Elton Brown in 2010 free agency.

Overall, the Cardinals had a fairly solid draft. They've managed to keep their core group of players together through free agency, and now have added to the future transition of the franchise. It's imperative now that GM Rod Graves keep working to extend the contracts of Karlos Dansby and Adrian Wilson to free up space for the very large free agent class of 2010. This is very much a transitional group. I don't think that the Cardinals' competition in the NFC West has improved greatly through free agency or the draft, and barring injury the Cardinals should be in favorites to win the division again. Hopefully, they'll be able to win the division with a record closer to 11-5 than the 9-7 which which they finished 2008.

New Readings

Leah and I went over to Changing Hands Bookstore this weekend while we were running some errands. I think we showed remarkable restraint while we were there in making sure that we only got books that we felt like we really needed.

Leah got Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. I picked up Geek Love, the novel currently under consideration for the AV Club Book Club, which I'm pretty excited about. I still have maybe 45 pages left in Arabian Nights, but I'm really not sure if I have it in me. The last narrative is pretty boring and repetitive.

Also, I really want to read Stephen Fatsis's 7 Second of Panic, but it hasn't come out in paperback yet and I don't want to pay $25. I gave it to my brother Paulie for Christmas last year, so I'll probably borrow it from him.

I am the Most Famous Person You Know

I promise not to let this go to my head. ESPN.com hasn't put the link up on their front page yet, but ESPN.com will come up now when my name is Google searched, and that's pretty fantastic. It's worth listening to the podcast as well. I'm going to have to defend my title this summer, but I'm not very worried about it right now.

Since we're a week away from the NFL draft, I thought I'd provide my first round projection as of this moment. I'm going to assume that the pending trade of OT Jason Peters from the Buffalo Bills to the Philadelphia Eagles goes through. I think that's a good trade for both teams.

Pretty much every team in the Top 10 will want to trade down for better value, but I don't think that's going to happen because no one wants to trade up for any of these players. I actually think there will be a lot of trades around the first round of this draft, but they're going to be unpredictable. I'll put teams that would prefer to trade out, but I'm going to assume that every team is going to be stuck picking where they are.

1. Detroit Lions - Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia. The Lions need some direction as a franchise and need someone for their fans to believe in. Because this draft is deep in offensive tackle talent, they'll pass on two players who I think teams will have questions about.
2. St. Louis Rams - Jason Smith, OT, Baylor. The Rams need to rebuild their offense, and that starts at offensive tackle. They will start Alex Barron and this pick, but training camp will decide who will be the anchor on the left side.
3. Kansas City Chiefs - Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech. New coach Todd Haley knows that you can win with the passing game, as does new quarterback Matt Cassell. They have the linebackers to take a stab at the flex packages of new DC Clancy Pendergast, but Crabtree will the the dynamic threat that will make Bobby Engram and Dwayne Bowe even better.
4. Seattle Seahawks - Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia. It's funny that high draft picks from Virginia rarely become more than solid players at the next level. I think that the Seahawks would like to trade down a little bit and get Mark Sanchez. They'll use this pick as the heir apparent to Walter Jones.
5. Cleveland Browns - Brian Orakpo, DE/OLB, Texas. Rarely is there as good a fit between a prospect and a team than we have here. Orakpo will be able to begin his career as a situational pass rusher as he gets used to his other linebacker responsibilities.
6. Cincinnati Bengals - Andre Smith, OT, Alabama. Smith can be an All-Pro right tackle as a rookie for the Bengals, who need to jump-start their offense and protect their franchise quarterback.
7. Oakland Raiders - Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri. Owner Al Davis loves skill position players and loves speed even more.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars - Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest. Linebackers always, always, always slip down draft boards. There has been a lot of chatter that the Jags would like to draft QB Mark Sanchez with this pick, but they gave a big extension to David Garrard just last season. They thought they might trade out of this pick to a quarterback-needy team, but they sprint to the podium when they find a rare player like Curry still on their board.
9. Green Bay Packers - Everette Brown, DE/OLB, Florida State. The Packers are transitioning to a base 3-4 defense. This gives the Packers much greater flexibility with their pass rush packages.
10. San Francisco 49ers - Malcolm Jenkins, CB/S, Ohio State. Jenkins will be a free safety at the beginning of his career, and then perhaps transition to cornerback if the 49ers transition to a Cover-2 defense. If the draft breaks this way, San Francisco could get a nice yield for Mark Sanchez, or draft him themselves.
11. Buffalo Bills - Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU. Jackson gives the Bills a meaty presence at defensive end, and a two-way player who never has to leave the field.
12. Denver Broncos - B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College. Players of Raji's size and speed are rare in the NFL. He will immediately upgrade the Broncos' defense agains the pass and the run.
13. Washington Redskins - Mark Sanchez, QB, Southern Cal. Dan Snyder gets to make a spalsh and make headlines through the rest of the offseason while talking heads discuss the QB controversy in the Capitol. Sanchez remains in a West Coast offense and gets to be part of a premire NFL franchise.
14. New Orleans Saints - Chris "Beanie" Wells, RB, Ohio State. The Saints are crazy for drafting offense again, but there are no exceptional defensive players on the board. The Saints would love to trade down for a team that wants an OT or linebacker, but they'll end up happy with the second coming of Deuce McAllister.
15. Houston Texans - Brian Cushing, LB, Southern Cal. The Texans are trying to build the best front-seven in the NFL, and they're well on their way if the coaches can get all the pieces working together. Houston would definitely be able to trade out of this pick to a team looking for an OT or the last quality QB in this draft.
16. San Diego Chargers - Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi. Oher solidifies the right tackle position for the San Diego Chargers and would make all the skill positions even better. The Chargers looked long and hard at Rey-Rey, but Oher was too good a prospect to pass up.
17. New York Jets - Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas St. The New York Jets are actually a pretty solid team except for the guy who touches the ball on every offensive play. The Jets would be wise to take the Miami Dolphins route and aquire a veteran presence to compete for the starting job with Freeman and Kellen Clemens.
18. Denver Broncos (via Chicago Bears) - Rey Maualuga, LB, Southern Cal. The Denver Broncos are thrilled with the first round of their draft after this selection is made. Rey-Rey is a playmaker and a leader.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi. The Tampa-2 defense runs because of a quick, penetrating defenisve tackle just like Jerry. If the draft breaks down like this, the Bucs would love to trade out of this position.
20. Detroit Lions (via Dallas Cowboys) - Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois. The Lions effectively have no starting-caliber cornerbacks. This pick makes them better.
21. Philadelphia Eagles - Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn St. The Eagles love taking defensive linemen with thier early picks, and this gives genius DC Jim Johnson another weapon to work with.
22. Minnesota Vikings - Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma St. The Vikes would love to trade out of this position, and would likely find a partner. Instead, they add to their ability to block from their exceptional running back tandem and gives whoever is their quarterback a quality safety valve.
23. New England Patriots - Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia. It's impossible to understand how Bill Belichek ends up in the situation where incredible players fall to him. Someone will almost certainly trade up to this point to grab a talent like Moreno.
24. Atlanta Falcons - Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee. Ayers will anchor the strong side of the Falcons' defensive line and push Jamaal Anderson closer to being a complete bust.
25. Miami Dolphins - Clay Matthews, LB, Southern Cal. Gives the Dolphins an excellent character player and a pass rushing presence on the outside of their 3-4 defense.
26. Baltimore Ravens - Darrious Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland. The Ravens would like to trade this pick to the Arizona Cardinals for Anquan Boldin, but they will be happy adding another weapon for Joe Flacco to develop with.
27. Indianapolis Colts - Percy Harvin, WR, Florida. The Colts hate drafting in the first round, and would likely trade back to the 2nd. But Harvin gives them a dynamic slot WR and return specialist.
28. Buffalo Bills (via Carolina Panthers through Philadelphia Eagles) - Eben Britton, OT, Arizona. The Bills now need a left tackle to block for Marshawn Lynch and Trent Edwards. Britton will work for them and probably not hold out all of training camp. Also, since Britton went to college in Tucson, Buffalo will feel like Manhattan.
29. New York Giants - Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina. Nicks isn't the home-run threat or has the rare size to replace Plaxico Burress, but does give Eli Manning a reliable target on third-and-six.
30. Tennessee Titans - James Laurinitis, LB, Ohio State. Laurinitis goes into an excellent situation because the Titans are excellent at protecting their linebackers. He'll also provide excellent leadership to this unit.
31. Arizona Cardinals - Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut. Brown is a complete running back. The Cards look hard at LB Larry English, but they look at their board and see that there will probably be a hybrid pass-rusher available where they pick in the second round (like Clint Sintim, Michael Johnson, Conor Barwin, or Paul Kruger). Brown immediately becomes the starting rusher and allows Edgerrin James to get his long-desired release.
32. Pittsburgh Steelers - Alex Mack, OC, California. This seems like the most logical pick in the draft; all of the experts are picking Mack to Pittsburg. This essentially assures that it will not happen.

That's the way I see it. Actually, I expect that fewer linebackers and more wide receivers will come out in the first round, but I have a hard time putting it together. Also, I think that more cornerbacks will come out.

Stealing Music Again

When I was in graduate school, there was a nice little record store in the downtown area. All of the people that worked there were assholes, though. So I shopped across the street at Tower Records.

I'm the kind of person that can't wait to listen to new music once I get it. I take the packaging right off the CD and throw it into my stereo to see what I got. One afternoon, I was listening to some music outside my building and FAMOUS POET JOSHUA CLOVER walked by and noted that it was quaint that I "still pay for music." This was four years ago.

Really, I like paying for music. I'm a completist by nature, and if I'm going to follow a band long enough that I'm going to get all their albums, I feel like I should pay for what I'm getting. I understand that 95% of that money is going to evil record companies, and that most bands make their money off of touring. But I don't go to concerts because I don't like being around other people. So if I like someone's music, I'm usually going to be willing to pay for it.

Once I started teaching, I decided that I was comfortable enough that I could afford to purchase all my music. I got an iPod as a gift from the wife when I got a real job, and iTunes makes it easy to purchase music, and $9.99 for a CD seems like a pretty good deal. And when I listen to singles that I like (which I do all the time--I love that song "Handlebars", but there's no fucking way I'm paying for the whole album), I don't mind paying $0.99 when I believe that the artist is going to get a piece of it.

But with the economy the way it is, and the way my school has been cutting back on class assignments and everything else, it doesn't really make sense to buy music unless you really believe in what the artist is doing. And so I've gotten back on Soulseek and have started gathering music the way that the kids do these days.

I feel like I'm giving back a little bit by staying on-line with Soulseek even after I've finished downloading my desired songs. That allows people to check my library and see if there's anything they want. I suppose that's more of a co-op model for the music industry.

I promise that when there's a good CD that comes out, I'm going to buy it. But when I'm just exploring a new artist or something, that's kind of a big investment.

Anyway, here are the last five or so albums I stole. I'm pretty sure that I can reccommend all of them:

• Common, Universal Mind Control
• Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
• Lily Allen, Alright Still
  
• Lily Allen, It's Not Me It's You
  
• Kate Nash, Made of Bricks

Do I feel like a heel for paying a lot of money the last three years for music that I could have gotten for free? Not really. I swear.

Arizona Cardinal Mock Draft

Time has flown, and I can't believe that the NFL draft is only two weeks away (well, really three, but who can count when there's this much excitement.

I know that no one cares, but here's the mock draft that I put together for the Arizona Cardinals. I'd like to put together a two-round NFL mock draft in the next week or so. Thankfully, I think that most of the trades have been worked out prior to the draft.

A couple notes on methodology here: I'm using the NFL Value Board from TheHuddleReport.com to estimate what players are going to be where. If you're an NFL draft buff, THR is a great resource and an excellent way to spend $9.99 per year. They do a pretty good job of estimating where players are going to go in the draft. I also lean on The Sporting News draft guide for some information on the late-round guys, and the Scouts, Inc crew at ESPN.com.

Also, there has been some talk that the Arizona Cardinals are going to trade WR Anquan Boldin before the draft happens, because he's begging for a new contract. Personally, I don't think this is going to happen. The Cards wouldn't part with Boldin for less than the 1st and 3rd round picks plus that Dallas gave up for Roy Williams, and no one's going to give that up.

Round 1 (31st Overall) - DONALD BROWN, RB, CONNECTICUT The Cards are looking for a running back to share the load with 2008 fourth-round pick Tim Hightower. Brown can be a franchise back and can do it all, and will quickly establish himself as the featured back in this offense. BONUS NUGGET: The Cards would love to have Oklahoma State TE Brandon Pettigrew fall to them here, but it's not going to happen.

Round 2 (63rd Overall) - PAUL KRUGER, DE/OLB, UTAH The Arizona Cardinals need to get younger at the outside linebacker position, as well as get healthier. Kruger isn't an impact pass rusher, but he'll pressure the quarterback from the strong side and develop into an able replacement for Chike Okeafor. BONUS NUGGEST: The Cards would also look long and hard at USC DT/DE Fili Moala at this place if he's available, but Kruger presents too great an opportunity to pass up. The Cards have been fortunate the last couple of years to find depth in the draft at the same positions where they have needs. In a normal draft, a player of Kruger's caliber would be gone in the first 50 picks.

Round 3 (95th Overall) - DAVID BRUTON, S, NOTRE DAME Bruton is a player who is a great physical specimen who sometimes take false steps toward the ball. It's possible that his playmaking abilities were hidden in a poor Irish defense last season. The Cards will be able to use his skills early as a special teams player, but also as the heir apparent to inside-the-box playmaker Adrian Wilson.

Round 4 (131st Overall) - T.J. LANG, OT, EASTERN MICHIGAN Arizona needs to re-stock its cupboard with offensive line talent. Lang will work with 2008 seventh-round pick Brandon Keith as the developmental prospects of Arizona's future offensive line. The Cards will gamble on another small-school prospect and hope it works out as well as it did with CB Dominique Rogers-Cromartie (Tennesee St.) and OT Reggie Wells (Clarion).

Round 5 (167th Overall) BRANDON HUGHES, CB, OREGON STATE You can never have too many cornerbacks on your roster. Hughes has the size and speed numbers that coaches covet, and can begin his career as a special teams gunner and contributor. A great locker-room presence, as well.

Round 6 (204th Overall) ANTHONY HILL, TE, N.C. STATE Hill has worked through some injury problems, but the guy can be a consistent short-yardage target and can develop into a productive blocker with time.

Round 7A (240th Overall) LAROD STEPHENS-HOWLING, RB, PITTSBURGH LaRod could catch on as a return specialist and could make things interesting as a third-down back and special teams contributor.

Round 7B (254th Overall) ANTONIO DIXON, DT, MIAMI This Hurricane will give the Cards a developmental prospect at NT should Gabe Watson leave as a free agent next season or perennial disappointment Alan Branch fail to show up at camp as anything more than a fat tub of goo.

One final thing: I'm going to be involved in one more ESPN Football Today podcast before the draft. I'll post the link when it becomes available, but I'm really excited to be in the Superfans' mock draft. Then, during the long, boring offseason, I'll have to defend my mantle as Arizona Cardinals Superfan.

Really?!

Thursday night is dinner at Grandma's house. It's one of my favorite nights of the week because I love spending time with my family and I don't have to cook (although I do have to do dishes!). Grandma made some wonderful, meaty pork ribs and some beans and a bunch of other good stuff, and a good time was had by all.

Grandma lives maybe 6 or 7 miles away from our house, and we're usually done with dinner before 8 p.m. After we left, we were driving home on our usual route, and we're looking to turn right onto Alma School road. The person in front of us turns on his blinker to get into the center lane just as he's entering the intersection. He brakes to a stop maybe 10 feet in front of the intersection.

Now, I have opinions about other people's driving. I can't stand that woman who was putting on eyeshadow while driving down Warner on Monday morning. I got cut off by a guy eating a Cup O' Noodles while he was merging onto the Loop 101. But I usually restrain myself from using my horn, because I know that we all get a little iffy, especially early in the morning or during afternoon drive time.

But this guy was making a dangerous, unnecessary maneuver in the middle of a busy intersection. The right lane was not a right-turn only lane, and the light was green. So I let him know that I did not appreciate his decision-making.

Immediately after completing my right-hand turn? Berries in the rear-view window. I'm right in front of Mimi's Cafe, so I pull up to the nearest turn-in (in front of Fiesta Mall), and park. I pull out my license and my registration for the motorcycle cop. He comes up to the window and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I can only assume it's because I honked my horn at that guy at the intersection."

"That's right. Was that guy in danger of causing an accident?"

"Yes, he'd breaked to a stop in the middle of a right-of-way intersection, and was merging into the center lane."

"Well, I didn't see that, because I was pulling into the right lane to pull you over. You know that a horn is only for emergencies, not to let someone know how you feel about their driving. Also, you totally ran a red light to get in to here."

"Well, I wasn't. And I guess I was too busy wondering why the heck I was getting pulled over."

"I'm going to let you off with a warning this time. Be careful."

"Thanks very much."

Really?! The Mesa Police Department doesn't have anything better to do than enforce etiquette at 8 p.m. on a Thursday night? Really? We're blocks from one of the most crime-stricken areas in the East Valley, and you're going to give me shit about a guy who was actually doing something illegal and dangerous? Really? Really?

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but that was stupid. Why don't you work on making sure that people aren't driving 35 in a 45 down Dobson Road like they always do, officer?

The Crafts... They Come to Us.

One of the great pleasures of living in the East Valley is the bi-annual Tempe Arts Festival. They have one in winter (usually around my brithday) and spring (last weekend). It's a great place to go Christmas shopping for one of a kind merchandise and a fun place to spend a day walking around and enjoying the incomperable Arizona spring.

Usually there's one dominant craft at the festival. A few years ago it was these brass or copper garden stakes that had like a little sculpted beetle or dragonfly on the end. This year, without question, the number one theme was tie-dyes. There were a lot of what I guess they'd probably called Hand-colored clothing, from scarves to ascots to cravats. There were tie-dyed briefs in almost novelty-large sizes. There were tie-dyed onesies for the li'l'uns.

But, there was also this fantastic hat:
It had a partner that had an entire preserved snake's head on the hat band, but Leah refused to try it on.

We really didn't buy much. I took out $60, but we only got lunch at Sack's Art of Sandwicherie (the best sandwiches in Arizona--an institution), and three jars of salsa. Leah got some black bean salsa, and I got a limited edition Habanero salsa that they save for people like me who are dicks about salsas not really being spicy enough.

Some of the coolest things that I've seen at the Art Festival are these cheese trays that are actually melted-down-and-flattened liquor and wine bottles, and there are always a couple of really neat artists. I really liked these architectural renderings of childhood subjects (they have a series of cocktail pieces that they don't have on the kids' site that are fantastic) and these semi-camp, Southwestern iron sculpture. I think that eventually Leah and I decided that we liked the art but could do without the crafts.